I was away a bit. And how. Without a breath of a lie. I was investigating a strange humming noise coming from a corner of the wardrobe, and fell through a hole in the space-time continuum. During my varied adventures I saw many strange sights and brought back many things from the future that I may tell you about one day over my secular Christmas. So, no harm done, except on my timescale I was gone around 80 years, and I come back to you now as a decrepit old man, and will probably turn to bones and dust before long. At least this way I fit in better wandering around downtown Newtonhill, which is what I did today.
And at the top of the St Anne's track, my good run of Common Reed Buntings continued, with 5 in the knotweed. Strangely, in the future they are just called 'buntings' and are actually used as bunting, strung between lampposts on the anniversaries of King Charles's abdication and the election of President Peaches.
More Long-tailed Tits (Bushtits) today. Down the burn, and then 6 in willows at the top of the cliff steps, 2 of which were flycatching. Amazing how they've gone from patch rarity to commonality this winter - they are certainly British birds moving around for a change. We even had 6 on the peanuts.
5 Rock Pipits and a Meadow Pipit feeding in cow field - I hope we get back to the glory days of the flock of 60+ Rock Pipits there. Some Ruddy Turnstones on the beach, but not a lot happening offshore. To be honest, the future was much more exciting, and I can't go on. Damn this temperate climate with its 'seasons' and its lack of winter action. In the future there are no seasons - basically it's just warm and wet all the time, but the birding is easier as everywhere under 400 m altitude is under water, so every birder picks a mountaintop, holds out a twig and sees what lands on it. It's how I got Common Fiscal onto the future Oceania list, but that's another story.
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Hmm, some inconsistencies here...the wardrobe in C.S. Lewis's books only led to Narnia, as far as I am aware, and nowhere else in space or time, though the fabric of space and time may have been crossed to get there, of course. I also seem to recall that said wardrobe was silent?
The Tardis in 'Dr. Who' famously travels through time and space, and there is a sort of internal humming (or was, at least), but it's stuck in the form of a ruddy great police box, which would surely have set alarm bells going if you encountered it in the corner of your bedroom...
Other Time Lords, whose Tardises could still blend in with their surroundings, could be a valid possibility, except that, as per the relaunched series, they all died, thus depriving lapsed Catholics like me of a fictional alien race whose hierarchy and ceremonial robes seem so normal, as it's like what we learned about the Vatican, except the Sontarans never invaded the Vatican...as far as we know, anyway.
I can only conclude that you were hallucinating, due to a mixture of 'Celebrations' chocolates, absinthe and Icelandic rancid skate (traditionally eaten on 23rd Dec, apparently), and passed out inside in your own wardrobe, with the humming having been inside your own head. It's the only logical conclusion!
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