Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Bill Ivory Witch Project

I know I can't talk, but some people have wayyyyyy too much time on their hands.


8 comments:

Menzie said...

Make sure you keep that away from the folk on Birdforum. It's just the sort of undisputable evidence they are looking for...

Martin said...

Well, it's convinced me. I was a skeptic... but I've seen the light!

Amy Rotan said...

Hey...I resemble that remark. I am a serious film maker and I was attempting to say some very important things such as: Americans have forgotten how to speak proper english;Good intentions pave the road to hell; Some species that are not extinct should be; Republican Americans tend to want everyone to be exactly like themselves;Alcohol and canoeing might not mix well (especially in Arkansas);Americans only eat doughnuts and gravy. Bush's men are outside in a van waiting to take me to Guantanamo. If you haven't heard from me in two weeks please send help. Your friend from across the pond-Amy

Martin said...

Amy, I think I speak on behalf of the entire British Birdwatching community when I salute your genius. Hope Guantanamo isn't too harsh. i'll watch out for you on the telly. You'll be the one in the orange suit, right? Here's a joke to tell the other inmates...

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what is his name?

"Billy", responds the little boy. "And what is your question, Billy?"

"I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right - question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve," he responds. "And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth, what happened to Billy?"

Amy Rotan said...

Amy is unavailable to take your message, she's with Bill-...uh..I mean her boyfriend..yes...she's on holiday with her boyfriend. I will relay any message you might have for her without any editing or blacking out. You may address them to her in care of Scoot-..I mean John, yes, John Smith. you may be absotively posilutley certain that I will get her the message fully in tact. Trust me. Respectfully yours, Scooter Lib-DANGIT!..I mean John Smith.

Martin said...

Oh Libby, you never could keep secret could you? Allegedly!! Tell Amy that I have brought her case to the attention of Amnesty International and the WWF.

Amy Rotan said...

Dear Dr. Collinson, We thought you should know we believe the Ivory-Billed has moved to Texas and is now armed. His last known place of employment was a spinach processing plant in California. You don't know me. I was never here.-Hulk Hogan
************
But seriously, wanted to let you know we are thoroughly enjoying your blog. I see by your ClustrMap that my aunt Doris in Colorado is visiting. Hi Doris. I'm trying to convince my congressman to encourage our government to stop funding war and start funding entertaining bird blogs. If you get a check in the mail for a gazillion dollars you will know I was successful. Signed- New Loyal Reader.
P.S. Please stop praising our president, ie. "Praise Lucifer..." you will only encourage him.

Martin said...

>His last known place of employment was a spinach processing plant in California..

Wow! that's where *I* last worked too.
Anyway, I thought Lord Lucifer and his little pixies worked for the government. Like the chain of command goes something like
Corporate business interests > republican neo-con hierarchy > Military > Bush Jr., and between them they just tell the devil to get out there and carry on whatever he was doing. See you in Guantanamo.

M